James Rumpel

“This is Angela Haller, reporting from a field outside of Centerville, Wisconsin where hundreds of people have gathered in hopes of having their most pressing questions answered.”

The camera panned the area. Dozens of cars were parked on the surrounding grass.The ground was crisscrossed with tire tracks, puddles, and other remnants of the many visitors. Tiny campsites filled nearly half of the field. A large, striped tent, which appeared to have been borrowed from a traveling circus, filled the opposite side. A line of people extended from the tent’s opening to the field’s gravel driveway.

“Early yesterday,” continued Angela, “rumors started circulating that a local man had a machine that could answer any question put to it. As unbelievable as that sounds, people have flocked here with all sorts of inquiries and mysteries. I’ve found a few people who have used the machine and are willing to talk about it.” The camera focused on an elderly woman.

“This is Miriam Bonstetter. I understand you were one of the first to arrive.”

“Yes,” replied the woman, “I was in the grocery store when Gary Steinman came in talking about a machine that Earl Justen had found in the woods. Gary said that anyone who gave Earl fifty dollars could ask the machine any question and it would be answered.”

“That sounds incredible. Didn’t you think it was a scam or trick?”

Miriam shook her head. “Earl and Gary are good guys. I was their third-grade teacher.They wouldn’t do anything mean. Besides, Earl could use the money; it’s been tough for him since the chicken hatchery closed. I had extra cash and there was a question that I ‘d been wondering about, so I came.”

“What was it like when you got here?”

“Well, it wasn’t this crowded, that’s for sure. Earl had the machine inside a small tent, and he was sitting at a table taking money. Gary got that bigger tent from a rental place in Centerville. They put it up last night, and Earl moved his table inside.”

Angela leaned closer. “I’m sure our audience would love to know what your question was and the answer.”

“I lost my wedding ring five years ago. I felt terrible about losing it. I asked where the ring was.”

“And?”

“The machine told me it was in my basement stuck to the sump pump. I raced home and, sure enough, there it was hooked on a hose clamp. Who’d of guessed it was there?” She held up her hand, showing the ring to the camera.

“Wow,” said Angela, “could you describe . . .?”

“Hey, let someone else talk,” shouted someone from off-camera.

“I’m in the middle . . .” started the reporter.

“That’s okay, dearie,” said Miriam. “I’ve got to go back to serving lemonade. It’s only fifty cents a glass.”

The woman had barely begun to back away when an overweight man stepped in front of the camera.

“I’m Ollie Sorgenson,” he announced unprompted. “The machine is the size of a small TV. It’s all neon and glowy. There are weird symbols all over it.”

“How does it work?” asked Angela.

“It’s simple. I just gave the guy fifty bucks, and he handed me a weird, six-sided coin. I stuck it in the slot on top of the machine and asked my question. Almost immediately, the machine answered.”

“And what did you ask?”

“I drove from Winona, Minnesota last night. My cousin called and told me about the machine. I asked if the Minnesota Vikings were ever gonna win the Super Bowl.”

“You mean,” commented the reporter, “you drove from Minnesota and spent fifty dollars just to ask that? You must be a huge Vikings fan.”

“Not anymore.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sorgenson. We have time for one more interview.” The camera swung to the other side of the reporter where a tall, skinny man waited.

“Hi, I’m Billy Jusworski, and I asked the machine to tell me who my perfect mate is.”

“Did you get an answer?”

“I sure did.” Billy pulled the microphone towards him. “And if Miss Mi Yo Chin of Shenzhen, China is listening, my number is 755-555-1202. Call me.”

Sirens and the roar of engines interrupted the interview. Three police cars escorted a black SUV and four military personnel carriers into the field. Mud flew from the tires as the parade of vehicles pushed its way through the crowd, coming to a halt in front of the large tent.

Immediately, a bunch of men in military fatigues jumped out of the trucks. They shouted general orders to disband and a specific order for the news crews to stop recording.

“I guess that’s that,” said Angela. “Let’s pack up and get out of here before they detain us.” She opened the side door of the van and began packing up her gear.

A hushed voice called from behind the van. “Miss, I need your help. Sneak me out of here, and I’ll give you an interview. I’m Earl, the guy who found the machine.”

Without hesitation, Angela shoved the young man into the back of the Channel 5 van. She followed close behind and pulled the door shut. “Rob,” she yelled to the cameraman.  “Store your gear up front. I’m riding back here.”

Inside, she got her first good look at Earl Justen. He looked to be in his late twenties. A week’s growth of beard made what could have been a handsome face look dirty and unkempt. He wore a baseball cap, a red flannel shirt, and jeans.In his hands, clutched tightly, was a small duffle bag.

“I’ll tell you anything you want if you get me away from here,” said Earl.

“Sure,” said Angela, “but it won’t help. They’ll find you. Everybody knows who you are.”

“I know, but I need time to stash some of the profits. Plus . . .” He paused.“There’s like some kind of code, isn’t there? You can’t tell anyone what I tell you, right?”

“I promise to keep quiet about anything you want me to.”

“I need to destroy the coin that makes the machine work. I’m hoping the battery runs out before the government can figure out how to use it.”

The van shook slightly as it started heading toward the field’s exit.

“How’d you get that thing in the first place?”

“I found it on my dad’s farm. I was doing some hunting and came across what looked like a crash sight. Chunks of metal were lying all over one of Dad’s hay fields. Most of it was just mangled junk with weird symbols on it. I figured a Russian spy plane had crashed or something, but then I found this one machine that was still intact. It was blinking and making a soft whirring sound and everything. That’s when I realized that it might have been a UFO that went down. I called the local police, but I kept one machine that wasn’t busted. I stuffed it in the back of my pick-up and took it home. I figured it might be worth something.”

“How’d you figure out what it does?”

“I got lucky. I had picked up a strange coin that was laying by the machine. When I got home, I noticed there was a coin slot. I put the coin in, but nothing happened. It just fell out of the back. The second time I must have said out loud that I wished I knew what the machine did. Then it told me.”

“In English?” asked Angela.

“Yeah, the thing is real smart. When I asked it how it worked, it gave some highfalutin explanation about being linked to a dimension that contains all knowledge of everything in the universe. I didn’t understand it.”

Angela shook her head. “I don’t know if I believe you. I mean if the machine knows everything, why did the ship crash in the first place?”

“I asked that too. It said nobody on the ship asked the right question.”

The reporter stared at Earl. “I still don’t get why you didn’t just turn it into the authorities. Why don’t you want the government to use it?”

He shook his head. “I can’t. Not after what I found out. The thing is dangerous.That’s why I made sure people weren’t going to ask the wrong questions before I let them pay me and use it.”

“What do you mean ‘wrong questions?’” The van lurched as it sped toward the nearest paved highway.

“Well, I showed it to a couple of my buddies. We fooled around with asking who would win Friday’s game, or if Mary Niedercorn liked Gary, stuff like that. But then, Gary asked when he was going to die, and the machine said, “July 7^th, 2025”. You can guess that put a damper on things.”

“That would be a downer. But you don’t believe it, do you?”

“It’s been right about everything else. Things got worse when Butch was dumb enough to ask the same question and got the same answer. We figured it meant they were going to be killed together.”

Angela held up her hand. “Wait. Couldn’t they just make sure to not be together that day?”

“That’s what they think. I’m not going to tell them what else I know.”

“Will you tell me?”

“I will, but you have to promise to never repeat it to anyone.” The young man’s expression remained totally serious.

 “Certainly. I already told you I wouldn’t.”

“You see,” he said, taking a deep breath. “That night, after the guys left, I asked another question. I asked when the aliens were going to return. That’s why I opened up my business in the field. I figured I’d make some quick bucks and live life to the fullest in the time we have.”

“You mean . . .” began Angela.

Earl nodded. “They’re coming back on July 7^th, 2025.”

The End